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thought going through all my old liked posts on tumblr would be a good trip down memory lane…false, just a reminder of how much things have changed over the past school year

Truth

Weak actions occur when your motive stems from gaining approval. Powerful actions occur when your motive stems from giving a gift or expressing love. Powerful actions tend to get you what you want and weak actions tend to undermine what you want. The same exact action can be performed either from a place of power, or a place of weakness. Where you’re coming from will determine the results more than the action itself. Where you’re coming from will determine your social value and attractiveness more than the action itself. These principles apply to men and women equally.

Lets say you are excited about some awesome experience you had today, your lover just got home, and as they walk in the door you notice that you’re just burning to tell them all about it. Stop and ask yourself – why? Why do you feel such a strong need to tell them all about this thing that happened? What is the motive that is driving your need? If your motive is to gain approval, then maybe they give you that approval and maybe they don’t. If they give you that approval then you feel good about yourself because you are validated, and if they disapprove then you feel bad about yourself because you were powerless to get what you want. However, if your motive is simply to give them a gift of positive energy to brighten their day, then maybe they accept your gift or maybe they reject it. The rejection is going to hurt, however, you will still feel good about yourself because you succeeded in giving your gift. Thus you should always give your gift but not your power.

Whether you are giving a gift or giving your power is determined completely by your motive. Your motive occurs within your own inner reality which I refer to as your frame. You are solely responsible for your frame. Because your frame is the key, and because you are in fact the only one who can actually define it, you should take ownership of it and not allow it to be arbitrarily defined by others. Realize that while others can make suggestions or criticisms, they cannot actually change your frame. To the extent that you take command of your own frame you are immune to manipulation. When you consciously define and hold a strong positive frame for yourself, you gain the ability to choose to act from deep and powerful motives. When you choose to act from deep and powerful motives, your actions will be to give your gift and not your power. When your actions are to give your gift and not your power, then you will be your own master. People will be attracted to you because socially you will be perceived as having high value. However, if you act based on the end goal of being attractive and having high social value then you will be acting on a motive of gaining approval, which will actually get you the opposite. The key is to keep your frame and motive well defined, and in this way the end result will come on its own without seeking it.

Doing the practice does not guarantee everyone will always give you what you want, but that does not change the practice. Continuing the practice however, may force you to make different choices. For example, take the lover in the previous example who rejected your gift of postivie energy. If you are truly coming from the motive of giving a gift, and that person continually rejects your gift, then it will be clear that you will need to move on and find someone who wants and appreciates it. The decision to move on will be the only decision you can make without compromising the integrity of your motive, because its no fun to keep giving to someone who doesn’t want it, and your motive is to give this gift and brighten up their day. However if your motive was to gain approval, and they continually rejected it, then you would be doubly motivated to try even harder to gain it, and you would lock yourself into an unhealthy relationship and continue to loose your power and value over time. So these two different motives, although subtle, can have profound effects on life choices. In the case where you kept your power and left, that person would most likely be struck by the loss and chase after you. Why? Because they would perceive you as having high value, and they just lost you, which would be an accurate assessment. However, once again, if your actual motive ends up being to have power and value in the relationship then you would in fact lose it.

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